{"id":1365,"date":"2019-05-22T09:31:20","date_gmt":"2019-05-22T14:31:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/?p=1365"},"modified":"2019-05-22T09:31:29","modified_gmt":"2019-05-22T14:31:29","slug":"smoke-alarms-and-watchtowers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/?p=1365","title":{"rendered":"Smoke Alarms and Watchtowers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The smoke detector in my kitchen is ridiculously sensitive. Over the years, it has been a source of steady annoyance to me and of ongoing amusement for my guests. Take a roast out of the oven \u2013 smoke alarm<\/em>. Fry some bacon \u2013 smoke<\/em> alarm<\/em>. Even a simple slice of toast will send it screaming. I keep a fly swatter hanging nearby, not because I get flies in the house, but to wave briskly in front of the smoke alarm, hoping to appease its wrath. Sometimes the only option is to reach up, rip it from the wall, and remove the battery until the cooking is over. It is at that point that my guests usually laugh as they hear me say something like, \u201cI hate you! But you\u2019ll probably save my life someday\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I\u2019ve come to learn that God has also wired our brains with a smoke alarm system: the amygdala<\/a>. Each side of our brain has a tiny, almond-shaped bundle of neurons designed (among other functions) to set off a swift and strong reaction to threats. For example, I remember the time as a child that I was digging for night crawlers. I began feeling my whole body vibrating heard a deep throbbing hum. I paused in perplexion. Then I felt a sting \u2013 and had an immediate realization that I had just dug up an entire nest of ground wasps! My \u201cfight or flight\u201d response flashed like lightning, and I ran a 100-yard dash that could rival any Olympic athlete. Thanks to my brain working the way God designed it to, I escaped with only two small stings. It could have been much worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We humans, together with other animals, are hardwired with\nsurvival instincts. Our amygdala sends swift messages to other parts of the\nbrain and body. We receive a rush of stress hormones that bolster us for\nbattle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This instinctive response can save our lives, but it can\nalso yield a daily dose of anxiety, spiritual unrest, and torment.\nUnfortunately, some of us (myself included) have an internal smoke alarm much\nmore like the one in my kitchen \u2013 set off by the smallest stimuli, and\ndisruptive of daily life. Everyday encounters can trigger an overreaction in\nme. An unexpected interruption or an unreasonable request can bring out the\nworst in my behaviors \u2013 just ask my staff or volunteers! I find myself feeling\nthreatened when there is no actual threat. It\u2019s just the toaster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having our internal smoke alarm go off frequently makes it\nquite challenging to abide in love and truth. Just as cooking in the kitchen\nbecomes much less focused or relaxed so long as the alarm is blaring, so also\nwith our daily life. When our brain is on \u201chigh alert\u201d we will find it quite\nchallenging to think clearly, to be tender-hearted and vulnerable, to connect\nwith others, to trust, to have fun, to be spontaneous, or to love our neighbor\nas ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I first encountered the analogy of a \u201csmoke alarm\u201d in the\nwritings of Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk. The image immediately resonated with my\nexperience \u2013 both in my kitchen and in my daily life. Van der Kolk has\ndedicated his life to studying and treating the crippling effects of trauma \u2013 part\nof the human experience that is far more commonplace than we realize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a truly traumatizing situation, we find ourselves helpless or powerless to do anything. Neither \u201cfight\u201d nor \u201cflight\u201d will save us. We instinctively revert to the \u201cfreeze\u201d response and shut down. But our brains can keep producing stress hormones, even years after the threat has passed. This shows up in various undesired symptoms: high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, irritability, peevishness, headaches, muscle tension, nightmares, etc. Hence the title of Dr. Van der Kolk\u2019s book: The Body Keeps the Score<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is tempting at times to wish away all these unpleasant experiences. Can\u2019t I just take a pill for it? Sometimes we do indeed need to take medications to keep our symptoms under control. But the symptoms (unpleasant as they are) can actually become our greatest allies. They are like the bread crumbs that allowed Hansel and Gretel to find their way back home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is where \u201cThe Watchtower\u201d comes in \u2013 no, not the monthly publication of Jehovah\u2019s Witnesses, but another part of the brain: our medial prefrontal cortex. It is the part of our brain that allows us to survey the scene from above, like a calm and curious observer. In relation to our \u201csmoke alarm,\u201d our \u201cwatchtower\u201d can tell us calmly and serenely, \u201cNot a fire \u2013 just the toaster.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In an ideal world, we grow up in a safe, secure, and nurturing environment. We find our physical and spiritual and emotional needs well cared for. Our brain easily forms neural pathways between our \u201cwatchtower\u201d and our \u201csmoke alarm.\u201d False alarms still happen, but are then much less common, and we are able to recognize them quickly and calmly. \u00a0That is the ideal. In reality, for many of us, these neural connections literally do not yet exist, or are underdeveloped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thankfully, there is good news from brain science. The newest research backs up what we already know from our Christian Faith: we are capable of changing our habits and growing in virtue. In scientific terms, this involves (literally) rewiring our brain \u2013 forming new neural pathways. Throughout our life, our brain remains \u201cplastic\u201d \u2013 able to be reshaped. This best happens when we follow Jesus’ advice and become like little children (Matthew 18:3). In this case, it means rekindling some of those childlike qualities: wonder, awe, curiosity, eagerness to learn, and a willingness to make plenty of mistakes along the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of little children learning to walk and talk. We do\nnot scold them when they stumble or fall. We do not berate them because they\nmispronounce a word. Quite the opposite \u2013 we find it cute and endearing, and\ncheer them on. Our steady encouragement and affirmation keeps motivating them\nto take the next step and learn the next word. All the while their brain\u2019s\n\u201cwatchtower\u201d is fully active \u2013 noticing everything with the utmost\ncuriosity, making new connections every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We tend to be hard on ourselves, to criticize, or to shame ourselves, thinking, \u201cWhy do I have to be this way??\u201d Instead, with encouragement from God and others, we can learn to \u201cjust notice that\u201d within ourselves, without criticizing or condemning. We can say, \u201cYup, there goes the smoke alarm again\u201d and calmly inquire why it is going off. Even when it is not a fire, it is possibly something that needs our attention. From that calm and childlike wonder and awareness, we are then free to make a rational choice of what we will do. As this space of freedom and spontaneity grows within us, little by little, we can learn to abide in love and truth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The smoke detector in my kitchen is ridiculously sensitive. Over the years, it has been a source of steady annoyance to me and of ongoing amusement for my guests. Take a roast out of the oven \u2013 smoke alarm. Fry some bacon \u2013 smoke alarm. Even a simple slice of toast will send it screaming. … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Smoke Alarms and Watchtowers”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1366,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[57,55,54],"tags":[180,179,183,184,181,69,109,95,49,137,71,182],"class_list":["post-1365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-healing","category-scripture","category-spirituality","tag-anxiety","tag-brain-science","tag-calm","tag-change","tag-childlike","tag-conversion","tag-faith","tag-fear","tag-healing","tag-peace","tag-trauma","tag-wonder"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Watchtower.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1365","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1365"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1365\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1368,"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1365\/revisions\/1368"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}