It saddens me that there are some Church leaders who are\nappealing to \u201cgradualness\u201d and \u201caccompaniment\u201d in a confusing way, as a means\nof pushing their own agenda. They prefer to avoid difficult conversations about\nwhat is objectively true or good, particularly in areas such as marriage or\nsexuality or gender.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While I wholeheartedly agree that it is often unwise to broach such topics in the first or second (or even tenth) conversation, it is unjust and unloving to avoid them indefinitely. Christian life is all about conversion. Conversion is all about an ever-increasing surrender to the truth and goodness and beauty of God. If we hold back parts of our life in that process, our conversion will falter or fail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember the example of Jesus in John\u2019s Gospel. He always\nbegins with encounter and dialogue. He first sees the people in front of him.\nHe gazes upon them with understanding, empathy, and love. He awakens holy\ndesires in their heart. And then he challenges them with the deeper\ntruth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The story of the Samaritan woman at the well is a marvelous\nexample. She feels truly noticed, understood, cared for, wanted, accepted, and\nloved in a way she has perhaps never felt before. As her heart awakens to love,\nshe begins to ache with a deep and intense spiritual thirst. Jesus is\naccompanying her step-by-step through this awakening and growth. Then, when she\nshows a strong readiness to follow him, he broaches the difficult subject: \u201cGo,\ncall your husband, and come back\u201d (John 4:16). She admits the truth. The man\nshe is with is not her husband, for she has had five husbands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Had Jesus started the conversation there, the woman would likely\nhave felt judged and shamed. She would have entrenched herself even more deeply\nin her misery, loneliness, and self-protection. But Jesus did not begin there.\nHe began with seeing and loving the person in front of him. Indeed, it was\nprecisely because he loved her so much that he also chose to discuss the\ndifficult questions with her \u2013 when she was ready.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The apostle Paul, too, understood the fullness of conversion that must take place. His whole life was one relentless desire to belong freely and wholeheartedly to Christ. If anything was ever hindering his love, he desired to be rid of it. How could he truly claim to love Jesus otherwise? To love someone is to grow ever more intimate in the relationship, willing to overcome barriers and obstacles. The growth is gradual and not without much bumbling and stumbling. But when the commitment to growth is unflinching, the progress will continue steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In Philippians 3, Paul warns against those who are \u201cenemies\nof the Cross of Christ.\u201d They do not want self-denial or suffering. By\ncontrast, the Cross of Jesus is an invitation to pour out our love in free and\nwholehearted sacrifice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I truthfully admit that I fear the Cross, that I struggle to\ntrust God and surrender, and that I avoid dying to self on a daily basis. But\nwhen I search the depths of my heart, I also see that it is my deepest desire\nto lay down my life for others! It is my true calling and my true destiny. I have come to learn that I cannot\nshort-change the receiving of love from God and others. If I do not learn to be\nvulnerable and dependent and receptive, I will never be capable of sacrificing\nfreely and fully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
God made us to love and be loved. Receiving love means\ntrusting, lowering our defenses, becoming vulnerable, and learning to depend\nupon God and others. Giving love means sacrifice and (yes) the Cross. Every\nsingle disciple of Jesus is called, ultimately, to learn how to love and be\nloved in this way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The enemies of the Cross of Christ want a Christianity that\ndoes not ask for heroic love. There is no such thing. We are all called, to\nborrow the image of Gregory the Great, to climb to the top of God\u2019s mountain.\nIt is a rugged and relentless climb, attained only by patience and gradualness.\nAlthough we all need to rest and relax, it is utterly unhelpful to settle on a\npermanent plateau and deny the need to climb any further. If we have sin in our\nlife, we will ultimately need to repent of it. To refuse to repent is to refuse\nto love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We in affluent nations are especially susceptible to avoidance\nof the Cross. We are often unaware of just how anesthetized we have become. We\nfalsely believe that we are entitled to so many comforts and delights (luxuries\nwhich billions of others in the human race do not enjoy and never will enjoy).\nWe live with the illusion that we shouldn\u2019t have to suffer. We forget the fall,\nand the wages of sin, justly deserved. Jesus has paid our ransom and offers us\na healing path, but not one that avoids the Way of the Cross. As Paul\nexplains to the Philippians, those who are \u201cmature\u201d understand these things. \u201cMature\u201d\n(teleoi<\/em>) means that one is focused on\nthe telos<\/em> (the \u201cgoal\u201d or the \u201csummit\u201d).\nNo permanent plateaus. Further up and Further in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is a grave error to try to separate love and truth. Some\nfocus so much on the truth that they forget to love the person in front of them\nunconditionally. Others, in the name of love, are willing to ignore or abandon\nthe truth. In the words of Paul, \u201cLove rejoices in the truth\u201d (1 Corinthians\n13:6).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gradualness is so important \u2013 NOT as a means of avoiding\ndifficult truths, but as a means of training us, one step at a time, to embrace\nthe truth in all its fullness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It saddens me that there are some Church leaders who are appealing to \u201cgradualness\u201d and \u201caccompaniment\u201d in a confusing way, as a means of pushing their own agenda. They prefer to avoid difficult conversations about what is objectively true or good, particularly in areas such as marriage or sexuality or gender. While I wholeheartedly agree … <\/p>\n