{"id":1501,"date":"2020-01-16T20:58:29","date_gmt":"2020-01-17T02:58:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/?p=1501"},"modified":"2020-01-16T21:13:14","modified_gmt":"2020-01-17T03:13:14","slug":"images-of-accompaniment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/?p=1501","title":{"rendered":"Images of Accompaniment"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I dream of the day when each parish church will be a family in which everyone is receiving accompaniment<\/a> and giving accompaniment. On that day, we will all be humble and vulnerable enough to allow ourselves to receive what we need, and will be thoughtful and generous enough to give accompaniment to others that God sends to us. On that day, it won\u2019t just be the priests or the same couple of leaders in parish life trying to do the accompanying, but everyone, each according to his own calling and gifts. All will be accompanied and all will accompany.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are various images that come to my heart when I think\nof this accompaniment: sharing bread, playing music, dancing, mentoring,\ncoaching, walking along the path, sitting down next to someone, cultivating a\ngarden, and mothering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accompaniment, at its best, is a committed relationship\nin which one is receiving the things he needs. Our needs are various:\nfellowship, listening, empathy, encouragement, affirmation, care, comfort,\naccountability, teaching, nurturing, guidance, and much more. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first image that comes to mind is sharing bread\ntogether. That is literally what \u201caccompany\u201d means. Think of all the meals\nshared by Jesus and his twelve apostles \u2013 those to whom he provided consistent\naccompaniment, day in and day out. In the best meal experiences, all\nparticipants truly feel a sense of connection and belonging. In that spirit of\nopenness, hearts are changed. We receive not only physical nourishment but a\nsense of community and belonging and purpose. Historically, those who share\nbread together were also those who walked the path together. They were part of\na company travelling together, \u201ccompanions\u201d on a journey. Certainly our walk\ntowards eternal life is a long journey, and we need companions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another image of \u201caccompaniment\u201d involves music. A musical\naccompanist is not the main attraction. Rather, his role is to be almost\nunnoticed in the background, boosting the confidence of the main performer(s).\nWhen the soloist or choir members make mistakes, the accompanist adjusts,\nhelping them regain their composure and their rhythm. There is much more to\naccompanying than simply hitting the right notes \u2013 it\u2019s a wonderful art of being\ninterconnected with others and bringing out the best in them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A related image of accompaniment is teaching someone to\ndance, or dancing with someone. I must say, this has NOT been a strong point\nfor me. I think back to Homecoming my Junior year. My skills on the dance floor\nwere duly noted by the football coach. He really enjoyed himself at the next\npractice, teasing me and another football player named \u201cBubba.\u201d Something to the\neffect of filming a documentary entitled, \u201cWhite Men Can\u2019t Dance.\u201d Anyway,\nthose of you who love dancing know some of the skills needed \u2013 an intimate connection\nwith your dancing partner, an overcoming of inhibitions, a willingness to make\nmistakes and adjust, attuning to each other and to the music, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My football coach certainly knew how to tease, but we also revered him. He was an excellent mentor and coach.  He knew how to give both criticism and praise, and had our undivided attention. He motivated us beyond what we originally thought was possible. I am still deeply grateful for the incredible discipline that our conditioning drills instilled in me. My internal \u201csmoke alarm<\/a>\u201dgoes off so frequently and so falsely, warning me that something is too much for me. Occasionally it\u2019s right, but so often it\u2019s wrong – I can actually handle it. Coaches are so good at helping us learn those lessons. Think of how many teens look up to their coaches. I encourage you to ask yourself \u2013 what would the equivalent look like in parish life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of my favorite images is sitting down next to someone. This image is especially helpful in those many moments of life when the shields of self-protection are up in full force. Most of us resist accompaniment, especially when we are feeling afraid or ashamed. When someone sits down next to us in a non-threatening way, it says so many things. It says, \u201cI see you.\u201d I see that you are hurting and afraid. I see that you feel ashamed, so I won\u2019t look at you too forcefully or directly. It says, \u201cI\u2019m with you.\u201d I am willing to sit on this dung heap with you and be sad with you. I\u2019m not any better than you and I\u2019m not trying to avoid your mess. It says, \u201cYou\u2019re safe\u201d \u2013 I won\u2019t try to meddle and fix this. I\u2019m just here at your side. If you want me to leave, I\u2019ll go. If you want me to draw closer, I\u2019ll draw closer. I respect you and your freedom. I notice you; I care about you; I am here for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still another image is cultivating a garden. It\u2019s a wonderful image because it involves both a consistent commitment AND incredible patience. On the one hand, the best gardeners show a marvelous awareness of what is affecting their plants: the soil, the water, the sun, the weeds, and unwanted pests. They vigilantly and diligently intervene to allow their crops to grow and flourish. On the other hand, they wisely understand that so much is out of their control, that growth is slow, and that they themselves do not provide any of it \u2013 not the seed, nor the plant, nor the growth, nor the fruit. They resist the urge to pull up the plant and check on its status.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, and above all else, when I think of accompaniment in Church life, I think of motherhood. The Church is our Mother. Each of us, in our own way, shares in that mission of \u201cmothering\u201d others within the life of the Church. Jesus says that those who do his will become brother and sister and mother to him. New members come to birth and grow in His Church when we are willing to accompany. I\u2019ll share more next time!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I dream of the day when each parish church will be a family in which everyone is receiving accompaniment and giving accompaniment. On that day, we will all be humble and vulnerable enough to allow ourselves to receive what we need, and will be thoughtful and generous enough to give accompaniment to others that God … <\/p>\n

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