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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nWhile I was in Rome working on my doctorate, a group of us watched a couple of episodes each week. We laughed; we shed tears; we waited with bated breath for the next week\u2019s episodes. When the finale came out, I prepared a steak dinner on the roof of our residence and we had a lovely evening \u2013 lovely, that is, until we watched the final episode. One of my friends was actually cursing and swearing as he hurled his ottoman across the room \u2013 mostly for dramatic effect. But his theatrics told the story of what our hearts were feeling at the time. We were deeply dissatisfied with the lack of resolution. We felt used, manipulated, and cast aside. How could someone spin a story, leave so many enticing hints and fragments, and then leave so many parts unresolved?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was the best of TV shows; it\nwas the worst of TV shows. It was so amazing because it was storytelling within\nstorytelling. I believe it was the flashbacks that made the show especially\ngreat. Each character had a deeply believable, profoundly complex, and totally\nhuman story. Little by little, fragments of their life emerged. It was easy to\nempathize with them, to feel their heartache and heartbreak, to cheer them on\nin their courageous moments of growth, or to cringe with disappointment when\nthey took steps into the shadows. As the episodes progressed, the pieces of the\npast of each character, the sum total of the things done to them and the things\nthey freely did, all served as warp and weft, forming the fabric of one\ngripping life story. It was beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I suppose that Lost<\/em> suffered the fate of so many American TV shows \u2013 the curse of popularity. So long as a TV show can somehow be profitable, new episodes will continue to be generated, regardless of the quality. Lost <\/em>found some new life by introducing new characters and by going even more in depth in the stories of some of the old standbys. But the plot twists of the show itself, while thrilling and enticing, eventually became its demise. In its final seasons, Lost<\/em> left cliffhanger after cliffhanger \u2013 and just kept moving on to the next cliffhanger, without ever circling back for resolution. In the end, we felt like the woman who keeps going back to her abusive lover. Surely this<\/em> time it will be different! In the end, like an abusive lover, the show did not deliver on its empty promises. And still, we loved it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve done some fascinating reading lately: Dare to Lead<\/em> by Bren\u00e9 Brown, The Storytelling Animal<\/em> by Jonathan Gottschall, and The Soul of Shame<\/em> by Curt Thompson. While I don\u2019t endorse 100% of what they say, all three books inspired much meditation and reflection. All three describe this deeply human quality of storytelling. We are storytellers by our very nature. Without stories, we cannot make sense out of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But there is a shadowy side to\nour storytelling. Not all of our stories are true stories. In our unwillingness\nto watch and wait in hope, we can begin telling lies about ourselves, about\nothers, and about God. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I know for myself that I have\noften fluctuated back and forth between one of two extremes: self-exaltation\nand self-shaming. In my moments of\nself-exaltation, I deny or minimize my unseemly behaviors or my personal\nproblems. Puffed up with pride, I begin relying on myself and growing in a false\nconfidence. In those moments, I easily excuse behaviors in myself that I\ntotally dislike in others. I put on a mask and project a version of myself that\nI would like others to accept. I suspect I am not alone in these tendencies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the present age of social\nmedia, there is an ever greater temptation to tell a well-crafted and glamorous\nstory about ourselves \u2013 whether or not it is true \u2013 and to compare our story to\nthe story of others. All of these self-exalting stories are cardboard cutouts,\nlike the filming stage of an old a spaghetti western. Then come those moments\nin which the truth knocks over our fa\u00e7ade, and we are terrified of being\ndiscovered for the fraud that we (think we) are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The other side I often experience\nis telling a story of self-shaming. Then my survival instincts kick in: fight\nor flight or freeze. At my worst, I begin blaming others or become demanding or\ndemeaning. More commonly, I withdraw into isolation and coping, or I avoid\nanything that feels challenging, for fear of failure. I know I am not the only\none who does these things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The problem with both versions of\nstorytelling (self-exaltation and self-shaming) is that they are highly\nselective. We are taking only parts of our story, and distorting the whole. Our\nlives our complex. Like the characters on Lost<\/em>,\nwe make many mistakes AND we make heroic choices amidst difficult\ncircumstances. Evil things are done to us AND we freely choose to cooperate in\nevil. We are victims of tragedy AND we\nare given opportunities for freedom and redemption. We behave in ugly or\nhurtful ways AND we show great sensitivity and compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bigger story for each of us is the story of a redeemed sinner who is in the process of being sanctified by Jesus. Every part of our story matters. Every part needs to be touched by his healing grace. When our entire story, in every detail, gets united with the saving story of Jesus, we begin to discover who we really are \u2013 and it is far more beautiful and more worth living than any pretend story we\u2019ve ever told about ourselves. We can be known and loved in our story. Then, on the Day of Judgment, when our merciful Savior opens the Book of Life and proclaims our entire story for all to hear, all will praise God for the amazing story Jesus has told in and through us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We humans are storytellers by our very nature. Our brains are tirelessly at work (even while we sleep!), putting the pieces of our life into a story that will help us make sense out of it. Storytelling is so much a part of being human that most of us don\u2019t even notice when we are … <\/p>\n