God\u2019s covenantal love abides. He always gazes upon us with\nkindness, even when we are at our worst. He loves us \u201ceven if\u2026\u201d and \u201ceven\nwhen\u2026\u201d He does not cease his kindness towards us just because we have ceased\nour faithfulness to him. \u201cIf we are unfaithful, he abides in faithfulness, for\nhe cannot deny himself\u201d (2 Timothy 2:13). <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is what covenantal love (hesed<\/em>) does. It is an unshakable gaze of kindness that truly \u201csees\u201d into our brokenness and woundedness, receiving us with blessing and delight. Think of the woman caught in adultery. My friend, Fr. Sean Kilcawley, suggests that Jesus stooped down to write on the ground because that is very likely where she was staring. At last, he catches her eye. She receives a gaze that knows her truthfully and communicates the kindness that her heart so deeply desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Matthew the tax collector was transformed by a similar gaze of kindness. This is the origin of Jorge Mario Bergoglio\u2019s motto, first as a bishop and then as Pope Francis: Miserando atque Eligendo<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a 17-year-old, Jorge had a transformational moment in\nBuenos Aires, on the Feast day of Saint Matthew (Sept 21, 1962). The youth\nunwittingly stumbled into a church, felt drawn to go to Confession, and deeply\nexperienced the healing power of God\u2019s mercy. He felt \u201cseen\u201d and he felt God\u2019s\nkindness in the depths of his heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In his adult years, Bergoglio fell in love with the Caravaggio painting of the call of Matthew, housed in the church of Saint Louis King of France in Rome. As only art can do, the painting utilizes light and shadows to depict Jesus\u2019 gaze, and Matthew\u2019s shock at being truly seen AND received with kindness. His face shows a battle between hope and fear, leading to a moment of decision that he will begin to follow Jesus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The motto itself is taken from a homily by St. Bede the\nVenerable, an early medieval monk in England, and one of my very favorite\nauthors. His commentary on Matthew\u2019s Gospel says in 3 words (miserando atque eligendo<\/em>) what it takes\nme 12 words in English to translate (see the bold-faced words below):<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cJesus saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office,\nand he said to him: Follow me<\/em>. Jesus \u2018saw\u2019 Matthew, not merely in the usual\nsense, but more significantly with his merciful understanding of men. He saw a tax collector, but by\nlooking upon him with a gaze of mercy, by choosing him<\/em><\/strong>, He said to him:\nFollow me<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And Matthew followed. His life was never the same after\nreceiving a gaze of kindness from Jesus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In Luke\u2019s Gospel, Jesus turns and gazes at Peter with kindness right at the moment of Peter\u2019s deepest betrayal (Luke 22:61). In other stories, this eternal kindness of God is depicted in a more visceral way. Luke describes the Good Samaritan or the Merciful Father (of the prodigal son) being \u201cmoved with kindness\u201d at the sight \u2013 literally, moved in their guts. Both saw a deeply wounded man; both only wanted to show kindness and care \u2013 indeed, even feasting and celebration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kindness is a gift. We cannot save ourselves. We cannot earn God\u2019s kindness, mercy, or love. He freely bestows it upon us, choosing and delighting in us, and \u00a0calling us into heavenly festal celebration. Unlike the devil and fallen humans, God has no interest whatsoever in condemning us. He desires all human beings to be saved (1 Timothy 2:4). But he will not force us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My fallen human heart deeply desire this kindness \u2013 and is often terrified. One would think that receiving kindness would be one of the easiest things to do \u2013 and yet my experience tells us that it can be incredibly hard. In my pride and self-protection, I often resist! I am guessing that you do as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In recent years, a deep human truth has dawned upon me. Being hard on myself leads me to be hard on others. Being kind to myself frees me to be kind to others. At times I notice myself taking up old and familiar roles \u2013 peevishness, fault-finding, blaming, criticizing, or resenting. In those moments, if I let myself be truly present, if I allow myself to receive the gaze of Jesus, if I welcome the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit, I often break down and cry. I see the pride and self-reliance that is there, a shame and a relentless cruelty towards myself \u2013 thankfully less and less over the years – but still there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have begun to probe this hypothesis in the experiences of\nothers, when they have come to me for spiritual counsel. It has proven true\nevery time! If they are struggling with unkindness towards others, it turns out\nthat their heart is itself desperately craving kindness \u2013 and often blocking it\nout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I think Vincent de Paul discovered the same truth many years ago. He put it this way: \u201cTo pardon an injustice received is to heal the wound in your own heart.\u201d<\/em><\/strong> As fallen human beings, we bear woundedness in our heart. The devil is a liar and a murderer from the beginning. He led Adam and Eve to disobey God, but what is worse, he convinced them that God would no longer be interested in showing kindness to them. So they ran and hid \u2013 as though God were a petty tyrant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The story of salvation throughout the Bible and throughout\nhuman history has been one of God eagerly pursuing us with his kindness and\nlove, and our playing hard-to-get with our hardness of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When we stop fighting, lay down our arms, and allow the\neternally kind God to tend to our hearts (often by opening ourselves in trust\nto other human beings who are his chosen instruments!), we will notice a\nchange. We suddenly have a reservoir of kindness within us. The fruits of the\nHoly Spirit start showing up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We cannot give what we don\u2019t have. We cannot love our\nneighbor or show kindness to our neighbor if we do not allow ourselves to\nreceive love and kindness. To try to do otherwise is the detestable heresy of\nPelagianism. It\u2019s time to stop being Pelagians and start being kind.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Kindness seems scarcer than ever during these days of pandemic and a pending (impending?) general election here in the United States. A little kindness goes a long way at a time in which divisions and contempt are palpable, and almost all of us feel emotionally and spiritually exhausted. These past few weeks, I have been … <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Matthew.png\")
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