How do you react when your worlds collide?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For those not familiar with the\nphrase, it\u2019s that moment when two previously compartmentalized \u201cworlds\u201d in your\nday-to-day existence suddenly meet each other. Your church friends unexpectedly\nchat with your college roommate. Your business partners walk in on you while\nyou are jamming out to your favorite song. Your 5-year-old daughter overhears a\nconversation with your golfing buddies. You get the idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The expression goes back to a\n1995 episode of Seinfeld<\/em>. Every episode follows the self-absorbed\nescapades of Jerry, Kramer, Elaine, and George. This time Jerry decides it will\nbe a great idea to introduce Elaine to George\u2019s girlfriend. Kramer immediately\ndeclares, \u201cThat\u2019s gonna be trouble.\u201d When Jerry expresses bewilderment, Kramer\nexplains, \u201cJerry, don’t you see? This world here, this is George\u2019s sanctuary.\nIf Susan comes into contact with this world, his worlds collide. You know what\nhappens then?\u201d For dramatic effect, Kramer brings his hands together and then \u201cexplodes\u201d\nhis food all over the floor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sure enough, the moment George discovers\nthis new development, he is terrified and enraged. He screams at Jerry, \u201cAnybody\nknows \u2013 ya gotta keep your worlds APART!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Scene by scene, George comes unglued as his carefully compartmentalized worlds collide or collapse.\u00a0 More than once he cries out, \u201cYou\u2019re killing independent George!!\u201d\u00a0 At one point he rattles off all the different versions of himself: independent George, movie George, coffee shop George, relationship George, liar George, bawdy George.\u00a0 His conclusion? A George divided against itself cannot stand!!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Thankfully, most of us are not so\nnarcissistic as the Seinfeld<\/em> characters. But we do tend to\ncompartmentalize our lives, don\u2019t we?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I often experience discomfort or\noutright dread when people get curious and start to know intimate details about\nme. Even though I desire to be known and understood, it feels safer carefully\ncurating what this or that group of people know about me. It\u2019s more instinctive\nthan intentional. It just happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are actually reasons why it\nhappens!<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the one hand, there is the\nreality that not everyone can be our intimate companion. The Greek philosopher\nAristotle wisely declared that \u201che who has many friends has no friends.\u201d\nAuthentic intimacy takes much time, effort, and mutual work. It is both\npractical and fitting that only very few people in our life truly know all of\nus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Moreover, there is the reality that some people do not deserve our trust. They will use us or manipulate us; or they will bail on us when things get hard. In the words of Jesus, it is wise not to cast our pearls before swine. It would be masochism to share vulnerably with those who will trample on us afterward. Choosing companions carefully is prudence and wisdom! But some of us are so careful that we never actually choose!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Is there anyone who knows all of us? Many of us hide parts of ourselves even from those closest to us! Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n As human beings, we are true sons and daughters of Adam and Eve \u2013 in all their beauty and all their brokenness. \u00a0We continue to harm each other \u2013 especially in our own families. Each one of us has suffered far more harm than we care to admit!<\/p>\n\n\n\n The greater the harm, the more we\nbecome like George Costanza. Shattered by the ways that others have used us,\nabandoned us, or taken out their contempt on us, we brilliantly create \u201cworlds\u201d\nfor ourselves. We learn how to manage and control each one, creating the\nillusion of safety and connection. It really seems to work \u2013 until our worlds\ncollide or collapse. Over time, what once helped us survive begins to ruin us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n George spoke more prophetically\nthan he knew: A George divided against itself cannot stand!<\/em> Juggling\ndozens of separate worlds becomes exhausting \u2013 not to mention lonely. We are\ncreated for communion \u2013 to know and be known, to love and be loved. If no one\ntruly knows and loves all of us, we will be as empty as the characters on that\nshow!<\/p>\n\n\n\n The New Testament speaks of our\nChristian existence as one of koinonia<\/em>. It can be translated as\ncommunion, community, sharing, participation, or fellowship \u2013 and includes all\nof them. By his dying and rising, Jesus reconciles us to the Father, to each\nother, and to ourselves. Authentic communion and community become possible. But\nit is hard to find \u2013 especially in our churches!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve enjoyed reading the works of Curt Thompson: The Soul of Shame<\/em> and The Soul of Desire<\/em>. He names four characteristics of healthy Christian community, what he calls \u201cthe four S\u2019s.\u201d When we truly belong in healthy community, we will feel S<\/u><\/strong>een, S<\/u><\/strong>oothed, S<\/u><\/strong>afe, and S<\/u><\/strong>ecure. Do we not all ache for those four things?<\/p>\n\n\n\n George Costanza looked at his group of friends as his safe space, his sanctuary. To a certain extent, they were. None of them expected the others to be perfect or to be someone else. But they all still felt the need to compartmentalize; they all ultimately lived selfish and empty lives. None of them truly felt safe or secure; there was no authentic vulnerability or intimacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As most of you know, I spent my\nthree-month sabbatical doing intensive trainings to help provide more resources\nfor those harmed by trauma or struggling with unwanted behaviors. I have\nnoticed a glaring lack in our churches today \u2013 authentic Christian community is\nexceedingly hard to find!<\/p>\n\n\n\n In our struggle with sin, with addictions, or with emotional and spiritual sickness, we will not get well without authentic community. There have to be at least a few people who know and love ALL of us; there has to be a place in which we can truthfully say I belong here.<\/em> Here I do not have to pretend or compartmentalize. I don\u2019t have to hold things together or keep worlds apart. I just get to be. I will be seen; I will be cared for; I will feel safe and secure. These companions will neither condemn me nor excuse me. They won\u2019t see me as a problem to fix; they won\u2019t abandon me; they won\u2019t reject me. They will speak the truth about what they see and it will feel great because it is deep and full truth. Like Jesus, they will see me in my wholeness; they will desire all the pieces of me; they will care about ALL my \u201cworlds.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Again, let us listen to the\n\u201cprophetic\u201d words of George Costanza: You\u2019re killing Independent George!!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n When our worlds collide, it feels\nlike a death threat. In our brilliant survival amidst human harm, we get\nseduced into the illusion of \u201cindependence.\u201d We think we can control and manage\nall these self-created worlds and not need anyone else in the process. It\u2019s so\nmuch safer that way \u2013 or so we think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But it goes against our true nature. We are created to depend totally upon God our Father and to become interdependent, existing together as one Body and one Spirit in Christ. We long for that communion, even as (like George) we feel threatened by it! In fact, he\u2019s right \u2013 there is a real dying that precedes our becoming truly alive! We are terrified of losing what we have so carefully crafted. Even when we are ready, we still want to know what will remain on the other side. Will anything of me be left?<\/p>\n\n\n\n God understands those fears \u2013 yet\nit is the only way. When we are ready to stop compartmentalizing, Jesus is\nready to lead us to authentic connection and communion. It will be the end of\nour worlds as we know them, and the beginning of the new heavens and new earth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How do you react when your worlds collide? For those not familiar with the phrase, it\u2019s that moment when two previously compartmentalized \u201cworlds\u201d in your day-to-day existence suddenly meet each other. Your church friends unexpectedly chat with your college roommate. Your business partners walk in on you while you are jamming out to your favorite … <\/p>\n