if only\u2026<\/em>\u201d train of thought. We begin telling ourselves the story that we would be so much less miserable and so much more content if only we had this or that pleasure; if only we didn\u2019t have to be doing this present unpleasant task; if only we weren\u2019t locked into this present relationship; etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\nRegarding God, we can easily begin hearing the whispered story that he is a cruel taskmaster who constantly makes demands of us, a fun-sucking God who steals all our joy away, an unfaithful God whose promises won\u2019t be enough for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Regarding our neighbor, we begin conjecturing, filling in\nthe gaps to tell a story about what we do not really know. Dorotheus shares\nanecdotes of many monks whose insecurity or jealousy or judgment led them into\nthis pitfall \u2013 such as the monk who noticed that a brother was absent from\nprayer on Good Friday and began fabricating the story that the missing monk had\nbeen in the garden eating figs instead of fasting and praying. It turned out\nthe brother couldn\u2019t possibly have been in the garden because he was abroad on\nan errand!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The evil one loves to shade the stories in our mind until,\nlittle by little, we grow into contempt of our neighbor, contempt of ourselves,\ncontempt of God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then comes phase two: lies in our speech. We do not know the\nfull facts about our neighbor, but that doesn\u2019t stop us from telling the story\nanyway, filling in the gaps without even realizing we are doing it. How easy it\nis to spread gossip and start rumors! Did you ever notice how we tend to go\ndown to a whisper when we tell stories about others? Does that make it any less\ndamaging?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dorotheus also describes the lies we tell about ourselves in\nour speech. We manipulate the facts or conceal the truth to avoid blame. We\nselectively highlight partial truths to present ourselves as better than we\nreally are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think it is rare indeed that someone tells the humble and\ncandid truth, without any shading or skewing or selective narrating. I look\nback on past emails or writing, in which I thought (at the time) I was being\ntotally objective, just reporting the facts. I begin noticing moments in which\nI started editorializing or injecting my own interpretation. It\u2019s a very human\nthing to do!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As an administrator, I have definitely learned how important it is to gather more facts or to listen carefully to all parties involved. Isn\u2019t it interesting how there is always more to the story?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thirdly, Dorotheus describes how the devil tempts us to lie\nin our deeds. The two-tongued father of lies wants us to lead a double life. He\nwho masquerades as an angel of light wants us to pretend to be someone we are\nnot, keeping parts of ourselves in the shadows. Think of the damage this has\ncaused in the Church \u2013 leaders pretending to be holy and all the while secretly\nsinning and covering up the evil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I mentioned last time, the full truth of our human story\nis complex. Jesus was sinless; each of us stands in need of redemption. When we\nallow parts of ourselves to remain in shadows, we begin hiding those parts of\nourselves from others and from self and from God. We then become slaves of shame,\nand become easy prey for the endgame of the devil: discouragement and despair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When parts of ourselves remain unknown, they remain unloved\nand unredeemed. The devil can then weave his webs at will, tempting us to tell\ndark stories about ourselves, stories in which there is no longer any hope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there is always hope, especially where there is humility and a willingness to be vulnerable with God and others. If we are open to it, God will help us seek and find a safe community of friends, to whom we can bare our souls and be known in the whole of our complex story. This was definitely a step that I needed in my own life, and began taking a few years ago. It has helped me, slowly but surely, to shed my shame \u2013 and others have noticed a difference. I continue on the long journey from contempt to contentment, but God is with me as I pray to resist the devil\u2019s wiles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dorotheus shares some profound wisdom. The devil is real, and the combat is real. Thanks be to God, who delivers us through Jesus Christ our Lord!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I love the Desert Fathers. In the solitude of the wilderness, they were anything but alone and isolated. They learned to abide in communion with Jesus and with his Body the Church. Through their spiritual combat, they systematically eliminated from their lives all forms of hiding and escape, and discovered the joy of living in … <\/p>\n
Continue reading “From Contempt to Content: Leaving Lies Behind”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1521,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[58,57,56,54,63],"tags":[243,242,125,244,240,43],"class_list":["post-1520","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-renewal","category-healing","category-saints","category-spirituality","category-truth","tag-desert-fathers","tag-dorotheus-of-gaza","tag-lies","tag-monasticism","tag-storytelling","tag-truth"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Contentment.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1520","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1520"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1520\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1522,"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1520\/revisions\/1522"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1521"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1520"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1520"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1520"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}