{"id":2001,"date":"2024-04-29T11:05:49","date_gmt":"2024-04-29T16:05:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/?p=2001"},"modified":"2024-04-30T21:39:10","modified_gmt":"2024-05-01T02:39:10","slug":"learning-from-joseph","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.abideinlove.com\/wp\/?p=2001","title":{"rendered":"Learning from Joseph"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I have to\u2026I have to\u2026I have to\u2026 <\/em><\/strong>Those words are intimately familiar to me, whether in my workaholism, my perfectionism, my aggressive driving, my people-pleasing, or my shame at \u201cfailing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For me, it\u2019s not so much the words as the intense sensations in my body \u2013 the pulsing energy in my chest, the tension in my shoulders, and the drivenness that pushes forward and pushes through. Even in those many moments when I am a calm haven for others amidst the storm, if I pay attention, I am sometimes holding an enormous tension within.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saint Joseph has shown up often this past year, teaching me a different way \u2013 a way of trust and surrender, a way of poverty and depending, a way of obedience and peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This January, I was back in Florida to assist as one of the chaplains at the John Paul II Healing Center for the \u201cHoly Desire\u201d priest retreat. Each day, Bob Schuchts and Kim Glass invited us into a human sculpting exercise. It\u2019s an improvisational group experience in which the participants interact to embody a scene. We begin with familiar stories from Scripture, such as the birth of Jesus at Bethlehem or the baptism of Jesus in the Jordan River. Then we shift the scene: instead of the Holy Family, we see a dysfunctional family with a strained marriage; instead of Jesus as the beloved Son of God in the waters, we see a struggling sinner buried beneath the burdens of shame and fear and confusion. The many different characters attune to their own intuition and to what the others are doing as they interact to form a human sculpture. Characters include the Father, the Holy Spirit, various humans, angels, evil spirits, Mary, and Joseph. You never know what will happen \u2013 each sculpt is unique, and it\u2019s surprising how the Lord shows up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each day, Kim invited me to be Saint Joseph. Having a devotion to Joseph is one thing. Imagining being him in a living scene is another!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As typically happens in these human sculpts, we all felt a sweet connectedness when Mary and I arranged ourselves along with the Trinity and the angels at the birth of Jesus. As Joseph, I felt both a poverty and a fullness at one and the same time. In terms of skill or power or capacity. I had nothing to offer. Yet I felt how much I mattered in God\u2019s design. I was very much a father, even though all my fatherhood was from the Father. It felt easy because it got to receive from a Father so close at hand. It seemed silly to try to make anything happen on my own, when such abundant resources were right there. I felt a warmth, a calm, and an inner peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We shifted to scenes later in Jesus\u2019 life, and to the scenes involving other human characters. I became a heavenly protector, no longer living my earthly life as a carpenter, but still intimately connected with Jesus and with all who are one with Jesus. For those of you less familiar with Catholic devotion, Joseph is the patron and protector of the whole Body of Christ. Just as he was chosen by the Father to be a father and steward in Jesus\u2019 life, he continues to play that role for the entire household of the Church, and for all God\u2019s children in Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the scenes shifted, my inner peace remained. There was enormous agony in the room as the human characters became cut off and suffered in torment. For many, it felt like those struggling would never be free from the increasing torment by the evil spirits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, I continued feeling poverty and peace simultaneously. I empathized deeply with the human suffering in front of me, and remained as close as I could, while fully honoring their freedom. The Father never barges in or coerces, and neither would I.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt powerlessness and power both at the same time. I was doubly powerless \u2013 from within and from without. From within, I humbly acknowledged my poverty, my radical dependence on and obedience to the good Father who was always sustaining me and ready to work through me. From without, I felt powerless so long as and to the extent that the other human characters didn\u2019t desire God\u2019s help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I felt doubly powerful, and a deep and peaceful sense that \u201call will be well, and all manner of thing will be well.\u201d I continued feeling the strength and tenderness of God the Father, flowing in and through me as an inexhaustible supply. I felt a sense of something powerful about to happen, any moment, in the life of the child of God who was agonizing in front of Mary and me. Michael the Archangel was near at hand. In a split second, both he and I could step in with the power of God, and all would shift. With the smallest sliver of desire or the tiniest opening of receptivity, the victory would be claimed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joseph has many beautiful titles in Catholic devotion. My favorite has always been \u201cTerror of Demons.\u201d Joseph\u2019s way of living in the present moment, trusting, receiving, and surrendering leaves nothing for the evil spirits to take hold of in a wrestling match. His willing embrace of poverty opens up space for divine strength and power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I began feeling the meaning of that title (\u201cTerror of Demons\u201d) as I watched and waited \u2013 not in anxious hypervigilance but in the swelling anticipation of Advent. Any moment, I knew, the archangel Michael and I would burst onto the scene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bob paused our sculpt, checking in with the different characters to see what we were experiencing. As it turns out, the demons and I were experiencing the same sense of divine victory being immanent, with Joseph playing a role. The person playing the spirit of confusion was indeed terrified and declared, \u201cDude, I don\u2019t wanna be anywhere near Saint Joseph right now!!\u201d He sensed his time was short.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The whole experience was a gentle invitation for me to set down any sense of \u201cI have to\u201d and allow myself to wait amidst the mess with poverty and trust. Victory is already assured, and I don\u2019t have to make it happen. I just get to rejoice in being part of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joseph\u2019s poverty is so different from the sense of scarcity that tends to terrify me. I have a deep-seated fear of abandonment and a sense that it\u2019s all up to me to make something happen. I try so hard to be capable and powerful \u2013 often fooling others and myself. But I don\u2019t have to do anything. I get to be loved securely by the Father, and allow his love to flow through me to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Becoming like Joseph requires a further repentance on my part \u2013 precisely from that idolatrous seduction into a false sense of power. Letting go of \u201cI have to\u2026\u201d means letting go of the very power that helped me survive some really powerless moments in life. I learned to survive \u2013 even thrive \u2013 amidst the chaos, earning privilege and admiration \u2013 neither of which are the same as the love I actually desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those who know me know that I don\u2019t shy away from intense or chaotic situations. I\u2019m often drawn towards them, like the paramedic who runs towards the gunshots. Being the strong and calm one amidst the storm is a familiar role in my story. And I can be a great gift in those situations. The question is, do I do it from a sense of \u201cI have to\u201d or from a place of freedom and peace? Do I do it alone, or in connection with others and with God, welcoming and celebrating the complementary gifts that the others bring?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been on path of healing for several years. I\u2019m not nearly so much a slave of \u201cI have to\u2026\u201d as I used to be. But that reaction still shows up, and (I imagine) will continue showing up. It\u2019s part of my story. With Joseph as father and teacher, I\u2019m learning that I can engage my daily labors in a much different fashion. I can notice that drivenness and then remember who the Father is and who I am. I can then welcome connection with others. I can be okay amidst the unresolved tension and wait in poverty and trust for the inevitable inbreaking of the Kingdom of God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is your experience of work, rest, and play? Do you have any of your own familiar roles – ways of showing up in relationships that may have served you once, but now tend to hinder your freedom? May Joseph be both a model and a mentor for you as you learn to abide In love and truth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have to\u2026I have to\u2026I have to\u2026 Those words are intimately familiar to me, whether in my workaholism, my perfectionism, my aggressive driving, my people-pleasing, or my shame at \u201cfailing.\u201d For me, it\u2019s not so much the words as the intense sensations in my body \u2013 the pulsing energy in my chest, the tension in … <\/p>\n

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