Religion or Religiosity?

Religion isn’t exactly gaining popularity these days. Even though most people believe in God or some higher power, fewer and fewer people are willing to be associated with religion.

“I’m open to spirituality, but I don’t have any interest in religion.” I think some of us experience a visceral reaction when we hear such statements. However, rather than immediately perceiving a threat, rather than shifting to a posture of judgment or discouragement, it may behoove us to be curious and ask, “why?”

Why does this or that individual no longer want anything to do with religion? Each person has a story, and we can often be surprised by what we learn. However, they may not tell us the whole truth unless they really believe we are going to listen. If they intuitively sense contempt or condemnation, control or manipulation, they won’t feel safe enough to share their story (and who could blame them?).

Many of our families – including our church families – have been toxic and dysfunctional. Often, under the pretext of religion, we have been guilty of “religiosity.” As a result, many would-be Christians, some of them deeply hurt and betrayed, have decided they want nothing to do with religion. In many cases, it is not actually religion that they are rejecting (much less God himself), but a “religiosity” masquerading as religion. If so, in some cases the attempt to reject religion may actually be a step in the right direction! When a family becomes dysfunctional, the “black sheep” is sometimes the one with the highest level of personal integrity! For example, I think of that great scene in The Adventures of Huck Finn in which Huck chooses to be a “bad” Christian and to risk “going to hell” by doing the unthinkable and helping a slave escape.

What is “religion” anyway? I would invite everyone back to the root meaning of the word.  Religio in Latin comes from re-ligare: to “to re-bind” or “reconnect.” Authentic religion heals and restores our relationship with God, our relationship with each other, and our relationship with ourselves. It restores wholeness and integrity; it leads us into true and meaningful connection, intimacy, love, and unity. If it does not do those things, it is not authentic religion!

Notice that authentic religion is both objective and subjective, both real and relational. Many today (even Wikipedia!) make the mistake of viewing religion in purely subjectivist terms – as though religion is the product of our efforts to make meaning out of life and human existence. To be sure, seeking and finding meaning is incredibly important. It is God himself who placed that insatiable yearning into our hearts. Yet God is real, independent of human seeking and striving. He has really revealed himself, and he desires us to find fulfilment in our desire for him by being received into real relationship with him. Religion is ultimately initiated by him and freely responded to by us in the new and eternal Covenant.

On the flipside, in the name of “the truth” many Christians today have forgotten about the real relationships involved. Much like the Pharisees, they have slipped into religiosity, which becomes a distortion of authentic religion in a manner that turns people away from the living God.

I confess to Almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have often been guilty of “religiosity” in the name of religion. I have focused more on being right than on forming a deep and meaningful relationship with the person in front of me. I have focused more on trying to coax or convince others to do the “right” thing, rather than attuning to the deep desires of their hearts and noticing what God is doing there. I have held contempt toward those who disagree with me rather than practicing empathy and seeking to understand them deeply in their own story, and especially in their suffering. I have clung to resentments rather than entering into authentic grieving, which allows me to manifest God’s mercy from the depths of my heart.

There are some, in their clinging to religiosity and claiming to represent the Church, who have gone so far as to fixate on condemnation and hellfire in unwholesome ways. For them, the “Good News” becomes all about avoiding hell personally and then deciding which other people go there. Loving others means “saving” them by turning them away from hell by whatever means necessary: name-calling, fear-mongering, shaming, manipulating, or coercing.  Perhaps the greatest irony occurs when we Christians call ourselves “Pro-Life” and then engage in these behaviors that are so against the dignity of the human person, and so clearly against Jesus’ commandment to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Who among us honestly desires others to call us names, to manipulate us, to coerce us, to shame us, or to motivate us by fear? These tactics are spiritual abuse. They are not religion. If we have ever engaged in them, may we repent and make amends!

Yes, hell is real, and the Good News is that I don’t have to live in hell anymore! We tend to think of hell and heaven as future realities, but they begin even now, already-but-not-yet. The humble person is willing to admit that his life has become a living hell, and that he cannot save himself. It is Good News indeed to discover an authentic path to freedom and peace, and to enter into real relationships through authentic religion (authentic “reconnecting” with the living God, restored relationships with others, restored integrity of oneself).

If our religion is real, our relationships will be thriving: the Trinity will dwell within each one of us ever more fully (as our desire increases daily); we will experince vibrant and joyful relationships with each other; we will manifest a deep respect for and rejoicing in the dignity of each human person; we will foster the unique flourishing of each culture; and our unity and love will be palpable. It will not be the bombastic unity of one person playing loudly and insisting that others join the refrain, but the stunning symphonic harmony of many diverse instruments, all conducted by Christ and each breathed into by the one Holy Spirit of God.

I repent of my religiosity and renew my desire to grow into real religion. Do you?

Do Not Idolize the Means

Happy Feast of Saint Sharbel! Every July 24th we remember this wise monk and shepherd who lived in Lebanon from 1828-1898.

Holiness is the true goal of our life, the entire purpose of our human existence. As we all aim for that ultimate goal, Sharbel identifies one of the subtlest and most common pitfalls – making an idol of the means. Even incredibly good and beautiful things like prayer, fasting, and almsgiving can become hindrances if we idolize them: “Prayer sanctifies you; do not sanctify it. Fasting strengthens you; do not make it a god. Mortifications purify you; do not adore them. Your singing is designed to praise God, but do not glorify it.”

God himself gave us these means. He commanded penance and fasting; he inspired the psalms that King David sang; he invites us to gather and worship him. These means serve us well when we receive them in gratitude, and give them back freely to the Lord, the true object of our desire. But if we make an idol of the means, we fall into the trap of the Pharisees.

Echoing Jesus’ words in Matthew 23, Sharbel warns us not to confuse the temple with the living God who dwells in it: “The safe can never be more important than the treasure it contains, nor the glass more important than the wine it contains, nor the bakery more important than the bread, nor the tabernacle more important than the Blessed Sacrament.”

Even with something as wonderful as Scripture, Sharbel warns not to idolize the means: “Christianity is neither the religion of the temple nor the religion of the book. Christianity is the person of Jesus himself.” An important distinction! We call Scripture “the word of God” – and so it is, but only because by means of it we encounter Jesus Christ, God’s eternal Word. All Scripture points to him. Sharbel compares Scripture to a mirror that reflects God’s light. As wonderful as the mirror is, our true destiny is the light itself. It is quite possible to cling to verses of Scripture while keeping Jesus at a safe distance from the depths of our heart.

It is also very possible to turn to God or to religious practices as an attempt to escape the pain of our problems. Sharbel cautions, “Do not seek refuge in God in order to flee from yourself … Do not let the world push you toward God. Allow God to attract you.”

Allowing our fear to give way to love – this is what distinguishes the disciple from the Pharisee. The disciple of Jesus discovers God in the deep yearnings of his heart, and refuses to numb those desires, no matter how painful the waiting can be.

It is in the desire of our heart that the Father attracts us, drawing us more and more deeply into Jesus (John 6:44). As we encounter Jesus, the Holy Spirit transforms us, casting out the spirit of fear that binds us up in slavery, and maturing us in the glorious freedom of the sons and daughters of God (Romans 8).

Without desire, our conversion will hit a wall. We will either get stuck in the land of religious idols, or (when they fail to satisfy) we will revert to our old idolatry of sin. I know, because it’s been my story! For too many years, I was more often motivated by fear than by desire. I toggled back and forth between firm and resolute observance of all the rules and then numbing myself out with addictive behaviors. In both cases I was motivated by fear rather than by love. I was avoiding authentic vulnerability, trust, surrender, intimacy, and the deepest desires of my heart. God has been inviting me to leave the ways of fear behind and to discover him in the depths of my heart, where he has always been present.

Granted, fear can be a great motivator – especially in the very first motion of turning away from evil. But it will never fuel a full conversion in Christ. Only desire can propel me away from the orbit of my past life of sin. If I do not open up in vulnerability and trust, if I do not allow myself to feel the depths of desire (which can be painful!) I will not grow in love.

Sometimes it feels so much safer to cling rigidly to the means – especially those that God made so good and beautiful. Clinging to them, I can avoid vulnerability, resist surrender, and bury my unfulfilled desire. When I idolize the means, I feel in control. Unfortunately, without vulnerability there is no love. Without surrender, there is no faith. Without desire, there is no hope.

“It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31). Not because he is a God of fear, but because all our illusions melt away in his presence. Our pretending and protecting hold no sway. He tolerates them with great patience. He respects our resistance – because he always respects our dignity and freedom, which he gave to us. He patiently waits. He entices and attracts, turning even our stumbling into wonderful opportunity. But only we can say “yes” and allow his love to be awakened deeply within in our heart.

Often, when the real growth begins, it is in ways we never expected. We spend so much of our time trying to force a path of holiness that is not for us. We grasp at means that may work well for others, but do not match with our own story. Sharbel invites us to discover our truest and deepest identity, and embrace the means of holiness most suitable to the situation God has placed us in. “The cedars and the oaks do not grow in the sand of the seashore, nor banana and orange groves among the rocks on the mountain. Do your work with the available tools, and flourish and bear fruit where God has planted you.”

Our deepest desires have always been there. The Father put them there in the first place. We just need to get reconnected with them, allow ourselves to feel them, to grow in them, and (propelled by them) to return to the Father. As this process unfolds for each of us I think we will find that we are experiencing what the poet T.S. Eliot once described in these words:

With the drawing of this Love and the voice of this Calling
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

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